Driven as a Salmon II: Not for the easily depressed.

So, a big shout-out to Dan E. Tanner, who, I recently was informed, occasionally tunes in. Just so you know, Dad, the link to the zombie game works fine, now.

I am supposed to be writing a paper, but my brain refuses to do anything that anyone might even remotely call work, so I thought, "I know! I'll work on the novella-thingy!" I don't really internally punctuate with exclamation points, people. Calm down.

I'm at this place where I need to flesh out Kennedy, and in a different way than she was presented by Bones, because, obviously, her relationship to Yuriko is hugely important to the plot and of a completely different character than his vision of her would permit her to have. My problem, of course, is that I'm not a girl. And Kennedy needs to be pretty laser-accurate to match the translation from Barnes that is Allison, but I want to take it somewhere else, tonally. So, I decide to do some research. It seemed a little inappropriate to mine info from the females I know of the blogging community--because I know them. That would be strange. Since I need Kennedy to have a writing voice for my current plan, I asked myself, "How do I find out how girls write?" I went to Friendster, and got distracted. Then, I saw the ad for Mate1 dating services, and I did the unthinkable: I clicked on it. In doing this, yes, I am aware, I reinforced the completely unfounded internet marketer belief that people click on ads. But it needed to be done. I was going to go through and find someone exactly like Kennedy, and then steal her writing voice. The following are some unedited text samplings of the search for a woman between 18-35 in the OC, in their own words:

Elle_gurl:
I am 19, so i am a freshman in college. i go to Brooks college, where i am majoring in fashion. i love walking to get coffee from campus, then spending like 20$ on coffee and mints!! hehehe. i love talking to people, but not on the phone. i dont know why! aim is like my other life! my life also revolves around my friends and figure skating. i practially like live at the pepsi center! i am there every saturday! sometimes my life really sucks. i am put under alot of stress to be like my sister, but honey that aint ever gonna happen! so my parents have high expectitations for me!


Justajezabelle:
I'm a single and loving it yes still in hopes of finding my special someone. Right now all I'm looking for in life are the simple things. Food, shelter, and an income to support myself with, lol. I have a wicked sense of humor, and I am brutally honest but that does not mean that I lack respect or consideration for others when it comes to speaking my mind. My requests are pretty basic and I will lay them out for you... No smokers...no former wife beaters ( I don't care if u hit her only once!), no alcoholics or players, no one that still lives with their mom, and there's also no hope for the unemployed. If you are still interested and DO NOT fit into any of those categories, then please, by all means...BRING ON THE CONVERSATION!!! :))

HiDesertMasala:
I am very outspoken but I have a tender side.

blissLOVE:
Who Am I ? One who is smitten by your beauty eyes. A creature of light wandering a world of shadow. A woman. Nothing more. Nothing less. I have suffered my trials and tribulations, tasting both the sweet nectar of victory and the bitter fruit of defeat. I am wise and strong enough to carry my own cross. Still, I seek the wisdom and strength of others. Possessing a predilection towards the eclectic and the intense, I am drawn as a moth to the flame, driven as a salmon against the current, towards the extraordinary. Possessing a disdain for the half-hearted and the mundane, I am repelled, as identical magnetic poles, from the ordinary. I am the painter whose pallet contains an infinite number of hues, constantly swirling in the kaleidescope of color which is my SOUL. I am the jeweler carefully cutting the countless facets, searching for the optimum balance between brilliance and clarity, in the precious stone which is my SPIRIT. I am the gardener, cultivating the soil, planting the seeds, watering the sprouts, weeding the rows, and savoring each resultant sweet, sweet bloom that is my WORLD.

BeachBabe101:

Hey Bitchesss My name is Savannah and I'm from Lagunaaa Beach itss amazingg! I LOVE TO TAN! obviously cause im reallytann..and I love to shop and model and hang out by the beach.. Im really a beach girl... I like live at the beach. I attended the unviresity of south florida and i loveeed being on the east coast its really nice theree! any way now Im home and im looking to pursue my modeling career! I've been in mutiple magazines, ads, and runway shows but I really want to turn professional.. So now i am taking modeling classes..Other then school in my free time I like to hang out with my gorgeous friends tan go to clubs, party, dance, and shop of course. Im really the typical 22 year old. I swear im not a stupid whoree...so I.M. me and we can have a little gang bang!

joiejann

well i am 35 i have made lots of mistsakes in my life..... who has not? i am in a marriage that we both want out of,we went to vegas a month after we met got pregnant and here we are. we live together, play together. but we know that the love we have for eachother is not enough.. we want sparks.. we never fight, we actually get along really well... our friends cant believe were just waiting for the righ time to get the divorce together.. he actually helped me put my photo on this thing.. i am due with this little boy in 3days... i cant wait.. his name is kody james.and at least his parents are really good at being friends. but i am bored and cant wait to get on with life.. i feel like its been on hold for a life time... but atleast my son will be very healthy..


At this point, the gulf between writing and life yawned so vast before me that my head actually split apart in its attempts to comprehend this stuff--this is by no means the worst/best of it, simply the most legible of the first three pages-- and formed itself into two heads: good head and bad head. The two heads had an argument as to whether I should mock these poor people or sympathize with them. I chose to present them as unironically as I could manage, factoring in local weather and my rather cruelly sadistic leanings. There's more if you want it.