Sorry about the brevity of the last post. It seemed funny at the time; indeed, it still amuses me, but I can recognize how some of you might have found its effect to be the production of a certain amount of anxiety. For that last, I apologize. By way of a larger explanation of that cryptic bit of humor, let me say that I feel modern doctors are not content to treat every problem one has unless they may treat those problems as symptoms of something larger. My evidence is that the last three doctors I have consulted have all found it to be worthwhile to hunt for a far-fetched, single, systemic cause to my various life-long complaints. Because I have recurring apthous ulcers and a mild case of psoriasis (two conditions which I developed simultaneously during the summer before seventh grade), combined with chronic joint pain (that I remember as far back as the age of eleven, then chalked up to "growing pains"), my doctor suggested that these problems could all be caused by lupus which is a genetically inherited systemic auto-immune disease that manifests itself in joint pain and lesions of the skin--apthous ulcers and psoriasis are not major skin diseases, but apparently they are adequate as signs of trouble. Alternately, I could just have recurring apthous ulcers, psoriasis, and joint pain--the cause of which could be tendonitis. The not-so-funny, downer side to the story (from my admittedly unique point of view) is that the joint pain could be the result rheumatoid arthritis, a far more likely condition for me to develop as both types of the disease are present in my parents (Mom has osteo- and dad has rheumatoid). So, they took my blood, screening me for the rheumatoid factor, for lupus, for triglycerides (because of the pancreatitis alert that you might remember from last year), for h. pilori (because of the acid reflux I have been experiencing more often in the last two years), and for lymphoma of the stomach (for the same reason), as well as for gout and one other mysterious test so vague that the answers I received when I asked about the reasoning behind it made me suspect that the Doctor had some arcane reason to get the total number of vials of my blood taken up to the alchemically and cabalistically important total of 7.
The comedy recap is: I could have gout! Only effetely aristocratic males of the 19th century like De Quincey get gout! Oh, how the world would seem gay if I had the gout! What's that? Gout is a horrifyingly painful disease that sometimes results in bony protrusions from the joints that will make me resemble some of Marvel's grittier mutants? Freude! Nay, how glorious it would be to have gout and lymphoma of the stomach!
Christ. So, you can maybe sorta see why I decided to think that it was funnier to sleep uneasily because of the threat of lupus instead of just kind of sob silently while considering cancer.
My doctor's advice was to lose 15 (more) pounds. I have begun that process in earnest.
On an unrelated--except that it is also an update on a previous post--note, my MA review is scheduled for April 19th at 1:00 in the afternoon.
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7 comments:
Zack had gout. It hurt when he walked.
...it's still funny to talk about gout, though.
I am relieved to hear that you probably, once again, don't have lupus. I'm not entirely certain I understand your doctor's advice, though. Tendonitis/arthritis and ulcers can be alleviated by weight loss, apparently? I would be wary of such a physician's care, especially if I approached him with a broken ankle or in the throes of a heart attack.
I hope it doesn't make me an ass to chime in with medical knoweldge, as I don't even play a doctor on TV, but the reason why you want to loose weight if you have severe joint pain is because it alleviates pressure on your joints. While I'm probably way off on the equation its something like every pound of weight puts 15 pounds of pressure on your joints.
Sorry to hear about this J.T. Glad to hear about your MA though. I'm sure you'll knock'em dead. How could you fail now that you "own" Critical Theory since Plato.
Mom kinda freaked out about the last post. Then she Googled lupus and decided to make herself feel better by explaining it to everyone else.
It's bloodletting all around; the Red Cross was at school today.
Why didn't any of the previous doctors care to do blood tests?
I forgot that Zack had gout. That makes me sad. And, I think, makes him a bit of a ponce.
Joints don't hurt as much if they don't have to pivot so much meat around. Jeez.
LONG LIVE THE KING.
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