Heartcry: AAAAAAARGGHHHH! That is the sound my heart makes because of the way my tutoring session always has to end with my student's mother cutting him down for fifteen minutes while I just stand there and goggle. My mom was not like this. I have never met a Mom like this. She actually told me that if Andreas isn't making straight As on his first progress report of the year, she's going to transfer him out of the district and make him go back to 9th grade. He's in 10th grade now. How do I stop this tragedy-in-the-making? Can this really be her right in addition to it being her prerogative?
two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm shit faced
A Challenge: I'm sure some of you are aware that November is National Novel Writing Month. Those of you who are not may follow the link in order to better follow what follows. I found upon waking up the other day, that I had not worked on any writing except for Grad School writing since July. This is unacceptable to me. I will be using NaNoWriMo to accelerate work on a project I began drawing up chapter sketches for over a year ago. What's that? You don't see how this is a challenge? Well, I'll tell you. I'm going to be writing a novel. Starting now. That's right. I know it's October. When have you ever known me not to cheat?
Consider this the equivalent of a literary no-ballsing. Those of you who have no physical balls ought, by now, to recognize that I am, in fact, never referring to mansacks when I no-balls. No, indeed, your moxy is called into question. In other words, the ladies ought to consider this a literary: "You've got no ovies if..." And for those who might read this with neither testes nor ovaries, either by accident, surgical intervention, or divine punishment, I say: well, gosh. Um, you should write one, too.
I might be posting what I write here, weekly, as I write it. That depends on how much of a psychic burden doing so turns out to be. I might instead disappear off the face of the intertron until I am done.
In any case, come December One, I will have written a(nother) novel.
Will it be good? Probably not.
Will it be better than yours? Only one way to find out--> Put your novel on the table at the unveiling on December 1st.
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6 comments:
I know a personal challenge when I see one! I, however, have a chapter to write, classes to teach, and a horse to ride. I will write a novel when you learn to ride a horse.
first about the tutoring--your only chance is to tell the kid nice things when his mom isn't around, or to tell her some heart-wrenching-and-only-half true story about a friend of yours who, well, you make up the rest, just make it sound important that he stays in that school. What pressure. Poor kid. Yeesh.
now, on to more fun...
what is a novel, asks the engineer-who-minored-in-english-but-really-only-learned-about-british-poetry? What's the big deal about word 50,000 over word 49,999?
and what, praytell, could I try to write? hmm. it sounds neato, so I'd love to do it, but I'm not so sure that I could. we shall see.
in any case, I'll help you be excited about NaNoWriMo if you're be excited about National Mole Day. If you're up for that kind of nerdiness.
I had a friend tell me about this a month ago. She tried it last year, and told me I should try. However, I'm afraid anything I write would not only be horribly misspelt and full of gramatical errors, but it would turn into some kind of post-modern mess. I would hate myself for that.
Loose baggy monsters need not be grammatically correct in a first draft--that's what editing is for.
It sounds lovely, but I am working on three different articles for publication and doing all my department's math. I will write a novel when you go on the tenure track.
As that will more than likely happen soon enough, I will amend my promise: I will write a novel when you go on the tenure track and can see green.
You should give us a little 'novel tutorial', Mr. I-Wrote-A-Book. Like, how you plan out your story and whatnot.
Judgement regarding my sack should be withheld until December. I've got a really great topic, but I'm not sure I've got a story for it. I could easily bust out a few pages of funny shit, but that's not a novel.
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