A dim memory grabbed me today: A yellow, pvc comb with two missing teeth that I used to keep in a secret spot under the bathroom sink at the house on Richmond. It was for putting in my jeans pocket to flatten out the folded pocket between the denim and my thigh. I remember my mom telling me that 'ladies use hangers.' I remembered a secret spike of shame when I realized that the corner of a coat hanger was too wide to fit in my pocket.

My Vote for Faculty of the Year

Reason

A New Axis Rising

Tonight, the newest development in German-Japanese fusion cuisine reared its dark and savory head.

On pumpernickel:
three slices of seared Ahi with a peppercorn and sea salt crust
red onion and red cabbage sauerkraut made with mirin and a Page Mill winery Pinot Blanc
wasabi yogurt sauce made with chevre

Top that.

Runs him through with a broadsword--

List of the "definitive 200" albums that I don't currently own in any format:

1, 7, 10, 12, 17, 18, 21, 23, 27, 33, 52, 53, 57, 60, 61, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 74, 76, 78, 82, 83, 84, 86, 87, 88, 89, 91, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 107, 110, 113, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 125, 126, 127, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 159, 160, 161, 162, 166, 168, 170, 172, 173, 174, 175, 177, 179, 180, 182, 183, 184, 185, 186, 187, 188, 190, 191, 192, 193, 196, 197, 198, 200

I hereby announce a ten dollar prize to the person who can correctly list these albums in descending order of the preposterousness of the album being on the list in the first place.

In the memetime.

Thanks, Shayda.

The slow, sad sound of unimportant things...

This Friday, six months of planning come to a head with the grad-student organized Cultures of Violence conference. Check it out here: http://www.humanities.uci.edu/complit/culturesofviolence/.

Keynotes are happening on Saturday, but the panel for which I am responsible--Violence in Representation and Spectation--is happening Friday at 4 in HIB 135.

If you can, I suggest you come check out the film screening that I organized on Friday night--the part of the conference for which I am wholly responsible. The film is Michael Haneke's Funny Games. Here's a review:

"In Funny Games, Georg and Anna, with their son Georgie, are traveling to their lakeside summer home. Upon arrival, Georg and Georgie head off to the lake for sailing while Anna prepares dinner in the kitchen. The serenity is shattered by a young man named Peter, who knocks at the door asking to borrow some eggs. The unwanted visitor is joined by Paul, a brash, arrogant young man. It soon becomes clear the pair have no intention of leaving. When Georg returns and tries to throw them out, physical violence erupts, and the family is held captive. What ensues are highly disturbing and violent 'games' initiated by Paul and Peter with Georg, Anna and Georgie as the unwilling participants.

“Funny Games is a firestarter for post-screening arguments, alight with ghastly images and actions, and essayed by a spot-on cast and storyline that flows seamlessly from one nightmarish incident to the next. It's an uncomfortable, distressing, and altogether provocative take on the global culture of media violence that not only draws in hapless viewers, but also forces them into fait-accompli acceptance, like it or not.”
---Marc Savlov, Austin Chronicle

There's free food (really good stuff on Friday night: Taco Mesa), and, as an added incentive: The keynotes I mentioned are Wendy Brown and Cathy Caruth.

Come support your fellow grad students and eat free food.

It's not April Fool's Day Yet

I'm not a shill. I swear.

Check it out: http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/snuznluz.shtml?cpg=50T.

Car Repair, the Iron Lotus, and the Restless Panda

After being in the body shop for four days, my car still isn't finished. I must take it back on Tuesday for an indeterminate length of time.

***

Glenn was kind enough to take me to pick it up at four thirty. I didn't leave with my car until 6:15. What was I doing all that time, you ask? Why, I was reading DUB magazine's latest issue. If you ever want to feel illiterate, I recommend reading a dense technical manual tricked out as a fashion magazine. There was no dictionary present. I recognized most of the words used by DJ Envy and Tony Hawk. Also, apparently, there is some kind of Spike Lee limited edition clothing line.

***

So, one of my highschool classmates myspaced me last week and let me know he was coming into town to present a paper at a marketing conference. We hung out. Went to see Blades of Glory--which is solidly funny--and discussed things I am not at liberty to discuss here, as I will be using them to my advantage against one or all of you at some point in the future.

It turned out that this acquaintance had been intrigued by my mentioning going to the San Diego Zoo with McKenzie on Thursday. Just as we did, he came to the conclusion that the panda is a terrible evolutionary pathway. But he, unlike McKenzie and I, braved the lines of people straining to see one. Apparently, there was a sign reading, "If the female seems restless, don't panic. She's just in heat!"

Which makes you wonder how many phone calls the zoo received:

"Um, hello?"
"San Diego Zoo. How may I direct your call?"
"I'm standing at the panda enclosure. I'm calling you from my cell. Can you hear me?"
"Yes, sir. I can hear you."
"Um. Well, this panda seems...I don't know. Restless."
"I'm sorry?"
"Well, it's pacing around, and I just don't know what it's going to do next."
"..."
"It's like some kind of caged animal, pacing back and forth. Looks like Brando, you know? Dangerous. Unpredictable. Bestial."
"...I'll let someone know right away."

Or how many times someone ran to find a zookeeper:

"You've...huhahuh...got to come...huhahuh...quick...ahuh..."
"Ma'am, what's the emergency? Catch your breath. What's wrong?"
"Panda...uhahuh...restless....secure....in a cage....danger to no one..."
"Oh, that. Right. Well, she's just in heat."
"OH SWEET LORD, NO!"
"Don't worry ma'am--it's completely natural."
"SOMEONE PUT AN ICE PACK ON THAT RESTLESS PANDA!"
"I'm not sure that would work, ma'am."
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"
"Probably."